April 17th, 2002 by Ken I'm am not illterate!

"Hello Me Its Me Again..." Yes people I'm still alive. It's just that for the past week or so, Ive been doing something thats very atypical of me, reading. Althogh I'm not reading anything heavy like War and Peace, Mein Kampf, or The Complete Works of Shakespeare. It is, however, something that I really get into and something that takes me out of my normal life. What great piece of literature am I speaking of?? I'm talking about the 2 Batman novels I recently purchased. "Why Batman" you ask? Well, there are some similarties between him and I that have grabbed my attention. For instance, Batman is very much a loner, and he likes it that way. I have the same thing going on. I really don't like asking for help and I dont really feel that I need it. I am however, like Batman, willing to ask for help if it is necessary. I may be a loner, but I'm not stupid. And neither is Batman. Batman is a highly motivated character as am I when it comes to the things that I'm passionate about. My music, my tv gig, and so on...Batman also has a low tolerance at times. As far as I go, I operate on a 24 hr basis of low tolerance . Alfred is Batman's friend who pulls his ass back into reality on the few occasions he needs it. I have Kevin who is there for me when I need a good dose of reality, sometimes even when I don't need it. Though I never think I really NEED a dose of reality, I follow logic as best I can, like Batman. But I digress. The comparison that sticks out most in my mind is that Batman's parents died when he was 8, the same age I was when my father died. The only difference is that he saw his parents gunned down in front of him, I just got the news from my mom.

The books are titled "No Man's Land" and "The Stone King". Though I am only halfway through the 1st of those, I did read the other. True to form, in both books Batman is the loner. In "The Stone King", Batman is teaming up with the Justice League (a group of superheroes including Superman, Wonder Woman, The Flash and the Green Lantern) to stop an ancient evil from destroying the planet. The spirit of an ancient shaman manifests itself in the body of a young palentologist who discovers a pyramid in Gotham city after part of it is washed away by a flood. The Stone King, then lures the Justice League into a trap, capturing all of them but Batman. Batman realized that the trap was simply an illusion. But since the rest of them are dumber than dogshit, the fell for it and were captured. The other member who wasn't captured was Jonn Jonn'z, a martian who was on his home planet at the time. It's up to Batman to essentially find out where the rest of the league dissapeared to and to defeat the Stone King, and do it all within 2 days. No biggie for the world's greatest detective. (Eat your heart out Sherlock Holmes)

Before he gets going, Batman visits an old foe locked up in Arkam Assylum. The Scarecrow is known for making gasses that are used to implant a paralyzing fear into the recipiant's head. He visits Scarecrow and gets a recipe for a certain gas that will be the eventual undoing of the Stone King. Batman, the detective that he is, also discovers that this monster draws its power from the natural flow of the earths energies, all the way down to the core. Batman and Jonn Jonn'z have come to the realization that the pyramid has up and disapeared. They think about the situation and then realize that the answer was that the pyramid was invisible. It had been right under thier noses and they had no idea. When they get to the pyramid, they see that the rest of their allies are trapped in suspended animation. They also see that the Stone King is somehow engaged in his mind. It seems that the brain of the young man he took over was still partially inside him, and was fighting him from within. As he is engaged, Batman and Jonn Jonn'z free their comrades. When the Green Lantern is freed, Batman notices that he is undersome kind of hypnosis, again, by using his phenominal deductive skills. Before anyone has a chance to recact, Batman cold cocks the Green Lantern leaving him unconscious.

The Stone King has now recovered and the final battle begins. He makes mirror images of hiself appear to fight the Justice League. While they are occupied, the Stone King begins his ritual of feeding off the energy of the earth, preparing to bring the apocolypse upon the earth. The Justice League quickly disposes of these fakes and turns all of their attention on the Stone King. By now though, as he is feeding off the energies of the planet, he has grown to 50 feet tall. Batman deduces that the best thing to do is to stop his energy at the source, telling Superman and Wonder Woman to go to the core of the planet and disrupt the flow of what is at the earth's core. While they are doing that, Batman sees that it is now or never time with his little gas. The Flash grabs him and uses his superspeed to try and run up the leg of the now near 100ft Stone King. The monster feels him though and flicks him off like a little bug. Before this happens, Batman deploys a grappeling hook and begins to scale the Stone King. The monster also notices this and grabs Batman and pulls him up to his face like a little toy. Batman seizes the opportunity to release his gas. The Stone King stays still for a moment, then the gas sinks in. he takes one look at Batman with his pointed ears and black cape, and he begins to shake violently. The gas had made him afraid of bats. That, coupled with the stopping of his energy flow thanks to Wonder Woman and Superman, was enough to stop the Stone King and defeat him once and for all.

So now that I have bored you to tears, I say, goodbye. If I feel like having a review for the other book, you'll get it when I'm done reading it. Till next time..... FUCK YOU! Kidding. :)

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