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I'm finally back after a rather bad case of writers block, and boy do I have some updates for you! First off, I finally put up the long-awaited Top 10 list of Love Songs/Out of Love Songs. Here's just one example of our collective musical genius: "Your futures in an oblong box" This is fantasy brought to somewhat of reality. This is for that bitch who fucked you over. Profound, I tell you. Just kidding. It's really good stuff. Check it out before Ozzy Osbourne comes over to your house doped
up on a gram of cocaine and a bottle of Jack Daniels and decides he wants to have sex with your mom. Or you.  And now for today's front page update... Literati Literati is the online game craze that's sweeping...well... a few of my friends. Anyways, they're all slightly hooked on it now, and rightfully so. It's easy to play. Literati is a word game like scrabble, complete with double word scores and triple letter scores. Basically an online ripoff of the classic. If you don't know what scrabble is...too bad. I'm not explaining it any further. Now, Literati would seem to be an intellectual game, right? Not exactly. True, it helps a lot to have a vocabulary that consists of more than "fuck" and "Britney Spears." So most teenage males that go to public schools are out. But more important than a good vocabulary is skill at what I'd like to call "playing the board" or maybe more accurately as "screwing your opponent in the ass." That's correct, you have to be vigilent. You have to know exactly where to put your words. You have to know to put an "s" at the end of a singular word to get the triple word score. It pisses them off. I know first hand. Also, you have to know a bunch of little two letter words that no one ever uses or even thinks of as words. They can generate big points in a little amount of time. That also pisses opponents off. Which, of course, is always fun. Now before I went off on a tangent about "playing the board" I suggested that you may think Literati is an intellectual game. Well guess what. It's on Yahoo! That's right, the king of all things suck hosts this marvel of a game. So, as with anything else played online (like Counter-strike) it is available to everyone. Bad idea. So not only do we have the lonely 42 year old housewives from Georgia (which, incidentally, are pretty good players), but we also have the stupid 14 year old girls that respond to every word with LOL and OMG. Of course, I don't understand why I'm complaining. I'm fairly good at the game, so it's fun to beat up on lesser opponents. Don't get me wrong, there are a lot of good players on the servers, even in the "beginners" room. I don't even have a .500 record. But for every good player there are no doubt 3 or 4 bad apples. I'm not talking about stupid people, either. No, I'm talking about cheaters. A certain other writer on this very website knows exactly what I'm talking about. Why? BECAUSE THE BASTARD ADMITS HE CHEATED! It's not a big deal if you think something's a word, and you try it, or even go so far as to see if the word is listed on dictionary.com. That's fine. But this fool found a cheater's dictionary just for scrabble/literati. I'm not going to list it here for you, because I don't want to taint the game any further. But let's just say he put in the letters he had, and it came up with "assignat." Do you know what that is? He didn't! So screw that, it takes the fun out of the game. I have a feeling this is done for the same reason people cheat in Counter-strike or are "trolls" on internet forum boards. They have nothing better to do than sit in their parents' basements and can't get laid. They can't prove themselves in real life, so they think they must do so in anonimity. Basically, it's a self-esteem booster. But whatever, I guess I don't care, so long as the people I'm playing aren't obviously cheating. Like I said before, you really don't need a big vocabulary to win the game. It's probably more luck of the draw (there is a different set of 113 letters each time) and more luck on the words at the end. Here are some examples (follow the red arrows) of the of the utter nonsense that got played at the end of a game between me and Ken.  Let's take a look at what some of these words mean: forbs: n. A broad-leaved herb other than a grass, especially one growing in a field, prairie, or meadow. I'll let this one go because it could actually be known by someone. ghi: Nuraghe \Nu*ra"ghe\, n.; It. pl. -ghi. Also Nuragh \Nu"ragh\, etc.[It. dial. (Sardinia) nuraghe).] One of the prehistoric towerlike structures found in Sardinia. I don't know what the hell that means. Is "ghi" part of the word? That makes no sense. It's also listed as an acronym, but you can't play those either. Whatever. carr: there really is no definition listed. It says, ZIP CODE for Carr, CO. And it's also an acronym. ACRONYMS CAN'T BE PLAYED! What the hell?? linn: n. Scots A waterfall. A steep ravine. I guess I'll let that one go too. Also notice that one of us played "shit." They allow swear words, which is cool. I don't know how to end this. So, um, have a nice day.
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